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I’ve had a bit of a love-hate relationship with social media.
I’ve often felt like I just don’t get it.
How about you?
Have you ever felt that, despite all the effort you make to share posts and create valuable content, that the rewards don’t match the energy you put in?
Or are you someone who likes to go deep, so you find it hard to connect on social media at a superficial level?
If this is you, then you are certainly not alone.
I did a livestream on Facebook the other day on this topic, and I’ve received more engagement, comments and requests for a deeper conversation than almost any other post I’ve done!
If you want to watch the replay you can watch it here, or if you prefer to read instead, this blog covers the gist of it.
What’s the ‘right’ way to do social media?
Some of it seemed to have an impact, but most of the time I wasn’t getting results that matched the time and effort I put in.
May be I wasn’t doing it the right way long enough to get the results that seem to happen so easily for others…
Maybe my messaging wasn’t consistent and coherent enough – because of the nature of my work, I change and grow so fast that my brand has struggled to keep up…
Maybe I wasn’t in the right energy while I was doing it.
Maybe it’s because social media changes so fast that I’m not up to date with current best practices.
There will have have been lots of reasons.
But it’s got to the stage where I only post when I have something I’d really like to share that’s moved me, or I think will benefit people.
I’m certainly not saying this is a good strategy for business building.
And I’m open to finding something that really makes me want to embrace it again – my way.
But right now, this is where I’m at.
What led up to this
I’m really passionate about the soul’s journey and what it feels like to take action from an aligned place. If something feels out of alignment then I can’t do it any more because it doesn’t have integrity and coherence.
It’s always been more important to me to take a risk and follow this, rather than follow the money if it hasn’t felt aligned.
And I like the adventure of doing what’s true for me and not following what everyone else does.
Things don’t always turn out as I hope or expect, but I always learn a lot, and when it does work out it is so worth it!
Anyway, I’ve intuitively felt a need to step back from a lot of things over this past year to see what is true for me, what’s a block and what comes from someone else’s truth.
Social media has been one of those things I’ve been exploring.
What I discovered is that I have been hiding in plain sight.
I didn’t know I’d been hiding. I thought I’d been doing lots to be visible.
I wouldn’t have made all that effort if I’d known it was going to make so little difference!
But then I realised that generally, although I was showing up and sharing my heart and soul through blogs, I was staying in my small network of people who already knew, liked and trusted me – where I was safe.
And when I reflected on my activity I saw that I was mostly broadcasting, rather than engaging with people.
It was a one way flow.
The crap that stops us truly connecting
Feeling under the surface of this behaviour, I discovered a whole lot of fear and very old crap from when I was born, also not fitting in, being bullied and cast out of social groups at school.
When I look back to my childhood, I think I must have been suffering with undiagnosed depression. I remember I used to feel apologetic for existing, like I was wrong, flawed and worthless. I didn’t want to be here.
At the very least I wanted to be invisible because it felt safer and more manageable to be ignored.
So connecting was fraught with danger and the perceived pain of being ostracised again – all unconscious of course.
Shit happens! We learn, forgive, grow, become stronger for it and move on, and on a conscious level I don’t worry about stuff like this any more. But some aspects of those old beliefs are still there and get triggered when I take bigger steps to up-level and be more visible, which is what I’ve been doing recently.
Not such useful programmes to have when you’re trying to grow your business!
Maybe you can relate?
Can you guess how some of your early painful experiences might be covertly sabotaging your progress?
When I went looking, the hidden fears from the scared child within that were holding me back were that no one would want to connect, no one would be interested and I could feel the fear of judgement, rejection, ridicule and attack.
This is a core wound, which has also been my gift. It’s been instrumental in leading me to develop my sense of self worth, personal power and right to claim my space, and I’ve been exploring these life lessons since I was a teenager.
I’ve learned a lot and stripped back many, many layers. But recently I discovered and cleared a big wall of protection from around my heart.
Since then I’ve felt quite weird. Really exposed and aware of lots more feelings. But also confidant that, with all my knowledge and practice with energy tools, I know what to do to be safe and empowered. And the desire to connect is there without the underlying fear.
Maybe this is what ‘normal’ people feel like most of the time? (Yeah right, what’s normal?)
Over the summer I’ve been marketing my channeling sessions and a new workshop.
Results have been inconsistent, but generally pretty good!
Despite not doing loads on social media, the response and feedback for my channeled sessions has been wonderful. I really love this work, it’s easy for me, and the shifts that people were getting were amazing. My energy has been high and aligned.
When you’re aligned you don’t have to use effort to make things happen, so I’ve had lots of bookings.
When I started marketing my workshop at the start of summer there was a rush of people who all booked, and others who said they were coming. Then later it slowed right down and one or two had to pull out.
Something was going on with my energy.
Then I realised I was in that ‘broadcasting’ mode again on social media. Not connecting.
I guess it’s a muscle that needs strengthening!
Do you behave online and offline in the same way?
My social media behaviour isn’t that different from my offline behaviour when it comes to meeting new people and groups.
I’m a sensitive introvert, and I find it quite overwhelming going into a group of people I haven’t met before. Especially big groups.
Some people are like happy little butterflies that love social events where they can flit between groups and individuals, connecting, chatting, creating relationships.
They have this ability to work at that surface level and draw people to them like a magnet.
I don’t have that gene.
I imagine I appear a bit aloof. I’m really not, and I love to connect, but I find superficial level chit chat, slightly baffling!
And it’s such a great skill to have when it comes to initially connecting on social media platforms.
The thing is, I love to go deep with people and I want to have proper connections.
I want to know what makes people tick.
I want to know what their stories are and what shaped them.
I want to know why they’re so passionate about what they do.
I want to know what pisses them off or is holding them back.
I want to know what their hopes and dreams are.
I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.
So something I’ve started doing again – apart from having a reminder stuck to my computer to ENGAGE… NOT BROADCAST, is to reach out and connect with people to have a ‘Skype or Zoom coffee’ and have a deeper, heart to heart conversation, to see how we can support one another.
So far it’s been really valuable. If you’d like to reach out and connect, please do get in touch!
How do you honestly feel about your social media journey?
Are you a social butterfly, a wall flower or somewhere in between?
If my experience resonates with you, please comment below and share your thoughts or ideas, and let’s discover what we can do to be ourselves and still love social media. If you know someone who it will benefit, please share.
And if you’re interested in working with energy at a deeper level for fast and profound transformation, why not book in for a complimentary Possibility Call?
To living abundantly.
Every Wednesday evening at 8pm UK time you can find me live streaming on my Facebook page.
I’ll be sharing insights, tips, information and mindset hacks that remind you of the powerful, creative being you truly are, plus ways to get unblocked and open up your flow of abundance.
Come and join me live to ask any questions, and subscribe to get notified when the next live stream is happening.
It would be great to see you there!
Hi, I’m Cathy. I’m an abundance mindset coach, transformation adventurer and Higher Consciousness channel for high-vibe, spiritual change-makers, leaders and go-getters.
I believe you have everything you need within you to create the abundance, joy and fulfilment you desire and deserve. And when you connect to your True Power it’s surprisingly easy to rapidly eliminate abundance blocks, confusion and inner resistance, so you can see, believe, and step into bigger possibilities for your life and business.
Based in the UK, just outside London. I work with clients in person and online globally through 1-2-1 mentoring programmes, channeled sessions, group programs, VIP days, workshops and online courses.