When it comes to creating the change that you most wish to experience in your life – more fulfilling work… a consistent flow of dream clients… a special relationship… a plentiful flow of money… a peaceful, happy home…
…In order for you to manifest it, you have to not only be in alignment with it as a true desire from your heart… but it must be completely congruent.
There can be no conflicting energies.
The importance of congruence
Even though you might think you are absolutely clear and focused on your desire, and feel you want it with all your heart, if your conscious desires conflict with your unconscious programming (ego), the unconscious mind always wins.
There could be all kinds of hidden and conflicting positions, fears and beliefs that different parts of your unconscious mind are holding on to simultaneously.
For example,it’s perfectly normal to really want change, but at the same time to not like change, to not want to have to change our behaviour, or to be afraid of change because we want to stay in control.
These conflicting positions are often created from difficult and painful past experiences that haven’t been fully processed, healed and integrated, and they will sabotage your efforts at making that change.
Some other hidden conflicting purposes to changing might be:
I don’t know who I would be if I had this. (Identity is tied up with current reality)
I’m afraid to have it because ________ (fill in the blank).
What if people change towards me because I have it?
What if I get too busy/overwhelmed/over committed because of it?
What if ‘they’ won’t like me because of it?
What if I can’t do other things I want to do because of it?
What if I fail?
What if I’m not perfect?
What if I let someone down because of changing?
What if I’m not right for it and it’s not really in my best interests?
What if I don’t like it once I have it?
What if it takes up too much time?
What if I can’t maintain it?
What if it stops my freedom in some way and I feel trapped by it?
This fearful, egoic part of your unconscious mind is only trying to keep you safe, and it fears change and the unfamiliar. But these ‘What ifs’ are like padlocks on the door to your desires.
Transformation process to help you break free
If you’re wondering why you’re still stuck and struggling with something and can’t break through the impasse, a good way to see where your unconscious mind’s hidden agendas are keeping your desires away from you is to directly ask it what it’s afraid of.
Try this exercise:
Close your eyes, take some breaths and relax. Feel yourself rooted to the ground, fully in your body. Take some moments to imagine all the energy of your mind dropping down into your body like sand dropping down through an hour glass.
When your mind feels more peaceful, imagine connecting with a column of light coming down from above. Picture, or intend that energy to flow down through you like a wave of light from head to toe, and take a few more slow, deep breaths to get even more relaxed.
Next, put your attention in your heart and imagine you can see yourself ahead in the future with your desire fulfilled, but that future is on the other side of a barrier.
This barrier is one of the reasons that your unconscious mind has for stopping you from continuing along your path to your chosen vision of the future.
From this side of the barrier, ask your unconscious mind “Why is it not OK for me to have this?”
Feel in to what it’s trying to protect you from, what it’s afraid of, what it believe will happen if you have it.
Ask gently, as if you are speaking to the child inside you. Stay connected to your heart, and be curious about what reason it might have for not letting you have what you want, why it wants you to stay where you are and what you might lose if you change?
Rather than thinking your answers, allow them to bubble up from your awareness.
Your unconscious might speak to you in pictures, in words or just in a knowing sense. You might feel resistance or tension in your body. Pay attention to whatever shows up without pushing it away. Just notice what’s there, what wants to be seen.
Be aware of any emotions that come to the surface, or any thoughts and head talk. Just allow all of it to come up without judging it.
It may take a few minutes like a photo developing and becoming clearer. You might discover old memories surface, they might be familiar, they may not.
It may not make any sense at all.
Keep feeling into the energy of it and repeating the question, “Why is it not ok for me to have _____?”
You may experience a building wave of emotion that has no obvious source. That’s normal.
Don’t try and force anything or get frustrated if you don’t get a clear picture. If you feel any uncomfortable sensations of resistance – heaviness, tightness, tension, contraction, etc, it means you have found and unlocked a layer by giving it your attention.
Once you are aware of it, and if you allow the feeling to be there without pushing it away, it will eventually release.
A word of warning!
This is a very powerful transformation process, so please be aware… It might get more uncomfortable before it releases!
Because we pushed down painful emotions in the past before they were fully expressed, they are still sitting in our energy system waiting to be triggered and released so that the energy can flow freely once again, and you can become that future version of yourself you are born to be. But when they release it frequently feels like all that old, yukky stuff that you didn’t want to feel way back when, now comes right into your experience.
Essentially by doing this practice and allowing yourself to feel and properly process these unexpressed emotions unhindered, you are unlocking the padlocks and giving permission for flow to be restored.
But if you’re not ready for it then you might easily react in the same way you did in the past, by pushing it down, telling yourself you can’t change, and giving up.
If you can stay with it, no matter how long it takes, you will feel lighter, freer, stronger, more in flow and you are closer to manifesting what you desire.
Let me know how you get on.
Need some help?
This is some of the work I do with my clients, helping them safely release the padlocks and process the unexpressed energy so their flow is gradually restored. As I’ve said, you can do this on your own, but it’s much easier, faster, more gentle and I won’t let your ego trick you into avoiding the difficult bits!
If you feel you’ve progressed as far as you can on your own or in groups, and you’re ready to go much deeper to shift what’s blocking your flow of abundance that only working at a 1-2-1 level can do, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org for a complimentary consultation to see how working together could help you create flow and ease where it matters most.
To your extraordinary life!