How do you tell the voice of the head from the voice of the heart?

One question I get asked by my clients a lot is “How do I tell the difference between the voice of the heart and the voice of the head – or ego?”

The heart has vast intelligence and is connected to your spirit and your Higher Purpose, which knows what is for your highest good.

Your mind, on the other hand, is logical and a great tool for problem-solving, analysing data and considering options.

But when it comes to making big decisions, problems happen because most people have unconsciously given their head the heart’s job, and it simply isn’t equipped to deal with it.

I’m sure you’ve been in that place yourself, a head full of conflicting ideas, all pulling in different directions.

And where does that leave you?

Stuck in procrastination is where.

The uncertainty brings up fear about making a choice in case it’s the wrong one and you waste your time, your money or your energy, or you look like a fool for getting it wrong again.

When I’m in the middle of a big leap and all the head talk from the very convincing ego kicks in to try and pull me back to ‘safety’, I run the conflicting ideas through an internal process which helps me make a decision.

Here’s a handy guide that you can quickly refer to so you can free up your energy and get back in flow.

Qualities of the voice of the ego.

  • Is rooted in fear and aimed at achieving security by gaining control over your outer world
  • Requires external results to feel good – it will push you to achieve more money, success, status etc
  • Based in scarcity, competition, lack, comparison, limitation, past experience.
  • Wants to keep things as they are
  • Inflexible, restricted, rigid about planning, linear, serious, time-bound
  • Need to ‘do the right thing’, fix ‘problems’, improve, try harder
  • Judges as good or bad
  • Says “I should…” and “I know…”
  • Requires force or effort to take action, rather than being inspired action from excitement.
  • Needs things to be different than they are – unaccepting of the present moment
  • Voice comes from the head – justifies through logic, it will mentally debate to prove it’s right
  • Focuses on how something is going to work, what something is going to do for you in the moment, whereas higher guidance is more concerned about the bigger picture

Qualities of the voice of the heart.

  • Comes from unconditional love and sense of self as an Infinite being in physical form.
  • The assumption is that you are safe and secure as you are, so instead of trying to gain control, the focus is on expressing your true self
  • Will urge you to work on inner development to express your best qualities outward – it won’t ask you to seek happiness outside yourself.
  • Abundance, enough for all, when you win, everyone wins
  • Urges you to express joy and inner peace outwardly for the greater good
  • Will uplift you and make you joyful, a sense of expansion, lightness, flow, peace and playfulness
  • Feels exciting, a sense of connectedness, faith, innocence, flow and ease
  • No limits, high energy and inspired to take action because it feels so good
  • Doesn’t bother with justification – if you attempt to debate with it you’ll just get the same answer
  • Knowing, gut feeling, inspiration, tingly feeling, loving, truthful, authentic – a feeling of being on the right path/alignment that’s more a visceral feeling than an intellectual idea


So if you have a big decision to make that you’ve been procrastinating over, or a goal requiring a big giant leap, first of all, STOP! Take some breaths. Get centred. And feel into the action you’re proposing to take.

If it feels humdrum, pedestrian, safe and what your Great Aunt Mary would choose, then ditch it!

If it feels exciting, unlimited and expansive… even if it makes you sh*t scared… Hang onto your hat and GO FOR IT!

The universe will conspire to help you.

Much love,

P.S. If you enjoyed reading this blog please share it with your friends, and if you found it helpful, let me know in the comments below! I love hearing back from you xx
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