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Feel hit by a truck when you’re reaching for a new level?
What do you do when you have lots of things you love and want to do, but not enough time or energy to do it all because you’re going through a healing crisis that has flattened you?
I’ve wrestled with this question a lot over the past few weeks, because the truth is, I am part of the way through some sort of healing crisis myself. Until quite recently I hadn’t had enough energy or clarity to focus or do stuff for more than a few hours a day, or a couple of hours at a time.
It’s been a strange experience. When I was on, I was sharp, focused and really good for that time, but for much of the day I’d be physically exhausted, with the worst kind of brain fog, tension in and around my stomach and solar plexus, feeling like I was carrying the weight of an elephant on my shoulders, and heightened sensitivity and anxiety in my body as my nervous system went into overdrive, even though it wasn’t triggered by anxious thoughts. But a lot of the time I also felt quite peaceful and happy inside.
Of course, I also had times of totally resisting feeling my discomfort at not being able to physically or mentally do what I wanted. It’s shown me yet again how strong the programming is to be productive and get ahead, when my body and mind needed rest and space.
It really tested me, after all, I’m in the middle of creating the foundations of my Conscious Dabbler community. I’m also responsible for running a women’s circle that I love, I’ve only just started getting back into my business and creating marketing again, I’m doing quite a lot for my parents, and I have a whole new area of study that I’m exploring the edges of and would love to dive into in a bigger way.
Clearly, I couldn’t do it all, and I’ve had to get really ruthless about where I choose to spend my energy, with whom, how long for and for what purpose. When I, or someone else, has wasted my time and energy it’s been really irritating, so I’ve had to say no a lot, put clearer, healthy boundaries in place and let other things go because I simply didn’t have the energy to do more.
Interestingly, I discovered that if I don’t also carve out time for myself to dabble in fun little projects that are unrelated to work, I have even less energy. So, because dabbling fills me, I had to make time for that too.
Self-care during a healing crisis
It’s been a fascinating healing process that I’m not finished with yet, but after a while, I reached a place of surrender and acceptance. Since then, layers of conditioning, avoidance of feeling certain emotions and discomfort, and all kinds of limiting beliefs have been peeling away.
Putting my health first is one of my highest values. When you’re going through a healing crisis it’s really important to look after yourself and give yourself the best care that you can to support and help ease the process. I realised that this wasn’t a serious illness and was more of an energetic thing as I prepare myself for new things, so I asked my body what it needed. What it wanted kind of surprised me, but I guess it makes sense. I had a massive urge to declutter – on every level!
I decluttered my space again, I started a detox and have been following a stripped-down and very clean diet and healing protocols that my body seems to like. I’ve gone through a lot of my old computer files and thrown things in the trash to create space or filed other things to create better order, and I’ve been doing a lot of belief-change work and healing to clear limiting patterns of thought as a sort of internal decluttering. I’ve been doing daily enemas and I even went cold-water swimming on Sunday with a friend, which blasted out a lot, too!
It’s been quite the purge!
It’s not been great to see any of this about myself, but it’s been very liberating because now I can catch it faster, make different choices and not let it control me, and ultimately, free myself from it completely.
Making space for the new
Now, as I feel my energy return and my brain fog clear for longer periods of time, I’m feeling almost squeeky-clean, and I know that I’m getting back into alignment. I suspect that I’m clearing out a lot of these unhelpful patterns before I step up and launch The Conscious Dabbler community, which I will have to run in a totally new way or risk burnout.
The feeling I get in my body when I tune in to how the community space will be feels so good. My sense is that the women who will join me in this space are women who want to dive more deeply into how we can support one another to live a new paradigm together, from a more feminine energy of plafulness, lightness and ease. But also one that challenges the existing cultural norms and controls that have been insidiously enslaving us for millennia, demanding that we give our life force for little in exchange, trapping us into feeling guilty if we take a side-step off the wheel of productivity and achievement and one that keeps us so busy that we don’t have time or energy to discover or develop our true power and what’s really possible for us.
This is a big part of what I’ve been working through in the past few weeks. No wonder it’s not been an easy road! But I know how powerful women are when they come together, and even just thinking about it is energising me!
A powerful reframe to get through any situation…
As I reflect on these past few weeks, one belief that has been a constant source of comfort is that, no matter what one is experiencing, something about the situation is not wrong, because the universe is always working in our favour to bring us closer to where we need to be.
And so, with all this purging, I am super-curious about what might be on the other side!
If you recognise some of your own journey in what I’ve shared, or it resonates in some way, do comment below, or email me and let me know.
I love to hear from you.
I suspect many of us are going through some big shifts right now as we collectively prepare for the New Earth we wish to create, and A LOT OF THE OLD HAS GOT TO GO!
As an awakened being alive on the planet right now, your continued inner ‘yes’ to your personal evolution, and your heart aligned with a better future for all, means that you probably can’t dodge this. So welcome to the club! And remember, there’s no need to do this journey on your own, so do reach out.
😁 Until next time,
Own your magic. You’re amazing!